Design: Syeda Afrin Tarannum
Design: Syeda Afrin Tarannum
When Forrest GumpThe mother of said “Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get”, I think she was actually thinking of a plane full of Bangladeshi passengers. Confining yourself to a closed environment for even a relatively short period of time can make most people grumpy. This is even truer when the closed environment is a piece of metal weighing thousands of kilograms flying through the sky and the people are Bangladeshi.
If you are traveling soon, keep an eye out for these types of individuals.
The reciter of Duas
If you are unlucky enough to fly in bad weather, chances are you will encounter turbulence. If you end up going through turbulence, you will also experience the phenomenon of someone reciting duas very strong. While it’s natural to say prayers in times of distress, these people don’t seem to mind sharing space with at least a hundred other people who are as likely to die as they are but aren’t on the line. point of trading the life of a goat for their own safety.
Sometimes the seat next to you is empty and it’s perfectly understandable that you want to take advantage of the situation and lay your legs there. However, most Bangladeshis have no respect for personal space and without hesitation will extend their real estate to the next seat even if someone is sitting there.
Then there are window chasers. The first words out of their mouths will ask you to switch window seats with them. After all, gazing at the vast blue sky from a foot away is simply unmissable.
Early Bird’s believer gets to come out first
When an airplane lands, you will likely hear the following announcement: “Do not get up immediately or all at once. Maintain an orderly manner when exiting.” There are some who are insensitive to such instructions and believe that if they adopt lightning speed while standing, they will have the privilege of getting out before everyone else. It’s also likely to be the same people trying to fight their way out the door, at the expense of everyone who stands in their way. Or, they will take the nicest method and try to come up with excuses, many of them grossly exaggerated and unbelievable, to get through immigration and customs first.
Chatty Cathy, but the middle-aged male gender
Have you ever spoken to a middle-aged uncle whose every other sentence refers to his wealth, his political power, or the famous institution his children attend? This experience might pale in comparison to what you will be subjected to if you sit next to such a person on an airplane. Without the possibility of escape, you will have no choice but to be a spectator of the verbal manifestation of his ego. Chances are he’s also that chronic complainer who manages to find fault in everything and anything and won’t back down to let the cabin crew know his thoughts, often in increasingly obnoxious ways.
Babies and toddlers creating a ruckus on an airplane are bad enough. It gets worse when their parents are completely uninterested in controlling them. It usually starts with the child getting irritated and the parents offering their phone to soothe him. When that doesn’t work, a timid and strongly worded reprimand ensues. And if that also ends in failure, ignoring the kid and doing his own thing for the rest of the time is always an option.
Zaima is a struggling college student, a failed guitarist, and a poet in need of better poetic ideas. Send your condolences to him at [email protected]